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Peacemaker vs. Peacekeeper



As I ponder my previous role within my family's structure, I see I was more of a peacekeeper than a participant—aiming to maintain a facade of harmony rather than addressing underlying issues. The end of my marriage served as a wake-up call, prompting a deeper reflection on how my passive peacekeeping contributed to my family's disconnection.


Now, as I forge new bonds with my fiancée and strive to reconnect with my children, the concept of being a peacemaker rather than a mere peacekeeper has become central to my transformation. A peacekeeper avoids conflict, often at the cost of genuine resolution or progress, whereas a peacemaker addresses the heart of the conflict, fostering true understanding and lasting harmony.


In this light, I'm changing my approach. Instead of shying away from disagreements, I engage in them thoughtfully, seeking solutions that heal rather than just cover wounds. This requires courage and vulnerability, as peacemaking involves navigating the messy, complex emotions that come with healing divides.


I take small, yet determined steps to be present in a fuller, more meaningful way. I've realized that passive presence was my old way of peacekeeping, but active engagement is my new mode of peacemaking. Whether it's through initiating heart-to-heart conversations or actively shaping our daily rhythms to nurture connection, I'm choosing actions that build a cohesive family life.


Being a peacemaker doesn't mean the absence of conflict. Rather, it means embracing conflict resolution as a path to a stronger bond. It's about setting the example for my children that growth often comes from discomfort and that true peace is the product of intentional effort.


Together with my fiancée, we create traditions that aren't just about avoiding arguments but about understanding and celebrating each other's differences. We prioritize transparency, recognizing that peace can only be authentic if it's rooted in honesty and mutual respect.


Reverting to old habits of peacekeeping is a temptation I confront regularly. Yet, my dedication to being an active participant and peacemaker in my family serves as a guiding force, steering me towards actions that foster genuine unity and joy among us. In this journey, I've moved from being a silent background character to an integral part of the narrative, embracing the role of both protagonist and peacemaker in the unfolding story of our family life.

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